Inner Child Healing Exercises

What is the inner child?

We sometimes encounter individuals who display child-like behaviors or interests despite being considered adults by age. They might enjoy playing with toys, seeking validation, or showing vulnerability. 

Psychologically, the inner child refers to the part of our psyche that retains the emotions, memories, and experiences from our early years. These experiences shape our beliefs, behaviors, and emotional responses in adulthood. The inner child often carries the residue of unresolved childhood traumas, unmet needs, or unexpressed emotions.

Assagioli (1973), as cited in Sjöblom et al. (2016), suggests that the inner child embodies a synthesis of all life stages, from childhood to old age, with each developmental phase contributing to the entirety of one's being rather than being left behind as separate entities. 

Even in older adults, it has been revealed that the inner child becomes visible. Its enduring presence throughout life underscores the need for holistic care that acknowledges unique experiences and dimensions of well-being in older populations (Sjöblom et al., 2016).

Engaging with our inner child involves acknowledging and nurturing this aspect of ourselves, offering compassion, understanding, and healing. Reconnecting with our inner child can address past wounds, develop emotional resilience, and foster greater self-awareness and well-being. Understanding and integrating our inner child is critical to personal growth and healing.

Signs of a wounded inner child

When our inner child is wounded, it often manifests in various ways that impact our emotions, behaviors, and relationships. Here are some of the signs to look out for (Davis, 2020):

1. Self-doubt: Experiencing a persistent sense of personal inadequacy or deficiency.
2. Approval-seeking: Constantly seeking approval and validation from others, often at the expense of one's needs and desires.
3. Conflict Thriving: Finding a sense of vitality and identity through opposition or conflict with others.
4. Being a hoarder: Accumulating and holding onto possessions or items beyond necessary or reasonable.
5. Attachment struggle: Struggling to release attachments to material objects and relationships, often due to fear of loss or change.
6. Experience anxiety with something new: Feeling uneasy or apprehensive when faced with unfamiliar situations or experiences.
7. Feeling guilty for setting boundaries: Experiencing remorse or self-blame when asserting personal boundaries or prioritizing one's needs over others.
8. Overachievement drive: Feeling compelled to constantly excel and surpass expectations, often to an unhealthy degree.
9. Being a perfectionist: Holding oneself and others to extremely high standards and being inflexible in expectations or behavior.
10. Having problems starting and finishing tasks: Struggling with initiating projects or activities and seeing them through to completion, possibly due to perfectionism or fear of failure.

Recognizing these signs can be the first step toward healing and nurturing the inner child to wholeness, fostering self-compassion, challenging negative self-talk, and addressing emotional wounds and difficult emotions to prevent or stop impulsive reactions.

What is inner child work?

Inner Child Work is an approach sensitive to trauma, catering to individuals who've endured abuse or neglect in their past. It integrates theories like attachment theory and somatic therapies, highlighting how past experiences shape present behaviors and feelings (Psyche & Soma Psychotherapy Group, 2021). 

Key to this approach is acknowledging the existence of younger aspects within us, which emerge during triggers or emotional reactions. It stresses the importance of safe relationships, boundary-setting, and emotional well-being. Inner Child Work involves cultivating a compassionate inner caretaker, mourning unmet childhood needs, and embracing joy and development.

Furthermore, it advocates openness to joy, play, and creativity, often challenging societal norms favoring excessive independence and work. It's a journey of self-discovery, healing, and nurturing one's authentic self.

How do you start the inner child healing process?

The inner child healing process starts with creating a safe and supportive space. This can involve establishing trust with your client and fostering a sense of emotional security. Acknowledging the presence of their inner child is crucial, letting them know it's safe to explore past hurts and unmet needs.

Once a foundation of safety is established, you can guide your client through reflective practices and healing activities. These might include journaling exercises, mindfulness techniques, or creative visualization. The goal is to cultivate self-compassion and encourage a deeper connection with their inner self.

Through this exploration, clients can begin to understand and address the wounds of their past, ultimately promoting growth and emotional well-being.

Inner Child Healing Exercises

Self-therapy can involve nurturing your inner child through various activities. Here are five inner child healing exercises to begin your journey:

Inner child visualization

This inner child healing exercise allows you to imagine yourself as a child in a safe and nurturing environment. Engage with your inner child, acknowledging their emotions and experiences. This exercise helps reconnect with your lost inner child and foster a deeper connection with yourself.

Writing letters to your inner child

Craft compassionate letters to your inner child, expressing love, validation, and reassurance. Acknowledge any past hurts or traumas, offering comfort and understanding. This activity promotes healing and self-love by addressing unresolved emotions from childhood.

Reparenting affirmations

Create positive affirmations that nurture and support your inner child. Focus on building self-worth, self-compassion, and healthy boundaries. Repeat these affirmations regularly to reinforce a compassionate relationship with yourself.

Inner child dialogue

Engage in a dialogue with your inner child, offering guidance, comfort, and validation. Listen to their needs and emotions without judgment, fostering a sense of safety and trust. This practice deepens your connection with your inner child and promotes emotional healing.

Creative expression

Express your inner child's emotions and memories through creative outlets like art or writing. Allow yourself to play, explore, and express freely without fear of judgment. Engaging in creative expression nurtures your inner child's creativity and fosters joy and self-discovery.

References

Davis, S. (2020, July 13). The wounded inner child. CPTSD Foundation. https://cptsdfoundation.org/2020/07/13/the-wounded-inner-child/

Psyche & Soma Psychotherapy Group. (2021, March 19). What is inner child work? Psyche and Soma Psychotherapy Group. https://psycheandsomatherapy.com/what-is-inner-child-work/

Sjöblom, M., Öhrling, K., Prellwitz, M., & Kostenius, C. (2016). Health throughout the lifespan: The phenomenon of the inner child reflected in events during childhood experienced by older persons. International Journal of Qualitative Studies on Health and Well-Being, 11(1), 31486. https://doi.org/10.3402/qhw.v11.31486