What Is Marriage Counseling and Why Is It Important?

What is Marriage Counseling?

Marriage Counseling is a joint counseling style that typically involves those seeking therapy as a couple. In specific, marriage counseling is designed to aid couples in understanding and working toward the resolution of conflicts within their relationship. Marriage counseling is intended to equip both individuals with effective communication and problem-solving skills for a stronger bond and healthier relationship. 

Marriage counseling is typically provided by licensed therapists focusing on couple’s relationships. These therapists can also provide the same psychological services as other therapists. Marriage counselors have extensive and specific knowledge about couples and family relationships. 

This type of therapy is often short-term, and couples may only need a few sessions to deal with their concerns. However, it is not uncommon for marriage counseling to need longer if the relationship has greatly deteriorated. Sessions are typically scheduled on how large the conflicts between the two individuals are and what the conflicts involve. 

What to Expect From Marriage Counseling

During the first session, it is normal to get to know the couple. It may involve asking many questions about their connection to family, friend groups, occupations, and workloads as well as what they believe they're struggling with. These questions can help to understand how they are functioning as a married couple. Often, the answers to these questions will also help to differentiate how they might be as individuals. 

Setting a timeline and goal is also a part of marriage counseling. It is important to have a goal to work towards for both the couple and the therapist. It keeps the conversations on topic and helps with productivity within the sessions. Because marriage counseling is tailored to the wants and needs of the couple, it is unlikely that two sessions will be mirroring. Couples may find that marriage counseling helps them quicker than anticipated - but there is no rush to push them away once they have what they need. It may be beneficial to continue working with the couple to enhance the future of their relationship and work on skills to prevent further disruptions to their relationship. 

How is Marriage Counseling Helpful?

It is a common misconception that couples need to be facing struggles to seek marriage counseling. Working on the skills that marriage counseling provides before relationship conflict may return higher results compared to if the couple waits until their marriage is on the rocks. Marriage counseling is not just limited to those who are married. It can be extremely beneficial for those in a standard relationship as well as those who are planning to get married. Getting married is a massive step in terms of a relationship, and working through potential problems such as child-rearing practices, intimacy, and long-term goals can help the relationship flourish in the future successfully. 

It is important to note that nearly all relationships suffer some degree of conflict and that conflict is healthy. However, it becomes a cause for concern when these issues are left to fester. Unresolved conflicts within a relationship can lead to users outside the immediate circle. This may include physical and psychological problems, workplace problems, as well as family and friends who may feel compelled to take sides within the relationship. 

Common Relationship Conflicts

Marriage counseling can help deal with major issues couples may experience, such as:

• Infidelity 
• Divorce
• Substance abuse
• Cultural understanding
• Communication deficits
• Sexual difficulties
• Infertility
• Anger

It is also important to work through the reasons for these arising issues. Is there a lack of communication between the couple? Or, have there been external factors such as ill health or family problems that may have contributed to the issue? 

Marriage Counseling Techniques and Exercises:

Within marriage counseling, there may be many different kinds of therapies that will be helpful when working with a couple. The following are therapy options that can be used within sessions as marriage counseling 

Gottman Method Couples Therapy

This was developed by married psychologists who focus on harmful behaviors that may damage relationships and cause problems. Issues of focus might include: 

• Defensiveness - This is when another party brings up an issue, and the individual defends themselves without consideration for the premise of the conversation. Defensiveness often leaves the conflict without resolution and deferred feelings. 
• Criticism - This may concern making statements about the other person’s character without regard for how they might respond to those criticisms.
• Stonewalling - This is where both parties refuse to communicate through conflict. It often leaves conflicts unresolved and fuels feelings of anger. 

Discernment Counseling

This is often used as a short-term therapy for couples who might be on different terms when it comes to the resolution or dissolution of their relationship. It is designed to help the two decide what the next step should be. 

Narrative Therapy 

Narrative therapy is rooted in the idea that individuals are shaped by the experiences they endure. This kind of therapy focuses on externalizing the problem in hopes that this can help the couple to see the difficulties as separate from themselves. This makes it easier to address issues collaboratively and lessens the blame aspect. Narrative therapy encourages the couple to develop shared goals and values regarding their relationship. 

Solution-Focused Therapy 

This therapy option works best for couples who are aware of the troubles they are facing and want to work towards active solutions. This option typically works for relationships in which there are specific disputes and for those couples who are willing to set and work towards relationship goals as a team.

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)

The focus remains on discussing specific and distressing situations within the relationship and working through the cognitions about those events. Working this way can help both individuals understand the others’ emotions and behaviors surrounding issues they have faced. 

In-Session Exercises

There are a range of marriage counseling communication exercises that the therapist can guide the couple through to work through their struggles. These activities might include:

• Validation exercises
• Positive Language exercises
• Active Listening exercises
• Extended Eye Contact exercises
• DBT exercises

Working with the couple through their first session will also give the therapist a good guide into what might be needed to help the relationship flourish. 

Home-Life Exercises

Along with the content within the sessions, it is also helpful for the couple to continue with relationship-building exercises within their home. This may be inclusive of activities such as

• Doing crafts together
• Engaging in conversations that have a deeper meaning
• Actively and openly expressing their appreciation for each other
• Taking time to schedule important conversations 
• Scheduling one-on-one time with each other
• Creating intimate moments in their everyday routine
• Showing interest in each other’s day
• Sharing a list of things they want from their partner
• Connection through music
• Less device time

The great thing about marriage counseling is that it is completely adaptable. A therapy that works for one couple might not transfer to another. This means it is up to the therapist to decide which option might be the best for the couple and their goals. Tailored options can also reduce the amount of resistance from the couple and make the couple feel more in control of their relationship. 

When Is It Best to Use Marriage Counseling Techniques and Exercises? 

Choosing when to implement marriage counseling techniques and exercises can be a really difficult decision to make. Often, people give subtle hints about their daily lives all the time. Here are some examples of when it may be a good time to implement these activities:

• You notice your client talking more about their relationship negatively during your sessions
• There has been a breach of trust in the relationship - for example: infidelity
• There are large life transitions incoming - for example: moving house, job changes
• Parental conflicts - for example: disagreements in child rearing
• Intimacy struggles
• Long-term relationship maintenance 

Couples can also benefit from taking the counseling exercises home and implementing them during their everyday routine or when conflict arises. By being able to recognize when conflict arises and how their spouse may/will react to the issue, individuals are able to put in place measures for stopping the conflict growing and to resolve the issue at hand healthily. 

Couples may decide to implement their new exercises when:

• Conflict may occur
• Conflict has already occurred
• One person does not feel heard
• One person has been hurt by a situation
• External sources of pain arise (grief and loss)

It is also important to remember that a relationship does not need to be in crisis before implementing marriage counseling techniques and exercises. It is good practice for the healthy maintenance of long-term relationships and for enhancing individual skills such as; communication and openness. 

Marriage Counseling Worksheets

Therapists often employ various tools and techniques to aid in navigating the complexities of relationships. There are various marriage counseling worksheets available for therapists to use within their sessions.

Carepatron’s Marriage Counseling Worksheets

Carepatron develops in-depth and easy-to-use marriage counseling worksheets for counselors during their sessions. 

Healthy Relationships Worksheet

It may be useful for couples to gain a better understanding of how their relationship currently stands. This Healthy Relationships Worksheet is for the couple to reflect on the relationship. By engaging in this worksheet, individuals can identify areas where the relationship may need improvement and how they might enhance their connection with their spouse. 

Marriage Counseling Worksheet

Carepatron developed this Marriage Counseling Worksheet to identify the difficulties and communication patterns in their relationship. Both partners should complete this worksheet independently and then discuss their responses. 

Communication Styles Worksheet

Communication styles are important during a relationship. There are many ways in which a couple can use healthy communication to work through difficulties, and the therapist can enhance this by using marriage counseling communication exercises. This Communication Style Worksheet was developed to target those having difficulty identifying their communication style and how they might work to improve it. 

Marriage Boundaries Worksheet

Boundaries for relationships are also an important factor. Carepatron developed this Marriage Boundaries Worksheet to help the couple establish healthy boundaries in their marriage. This worksheet works best when the individuals are open, honest, and respectful.

Relationship Pros and Cons Worksheet

Couples can identify their relationship’s positive and negative aspects through Carepatron’s Relationship Pros and Cons Worksheet. Clients can work towards exploring and understanding how these factors impact their overall satisfaction within their relationship. This conversation can lead to making an informed decision about whether to continue or end their relationship. 

Healthy Relationships Wheel Worksheet

The Healthy Relationships Wheel Worksheet includes 20 questions that help the couple engage in deeper questions for assessing the dynamics of the relationship. The primary function of the worksheets is to provide a holistic overview of the elements of a healthy relationship and how to nurture these aspects of the relationship. This worksheet provides the couple with a clear visualization of where the relationship stands currently. 

Marriage Counseling Questions

The hardest thing about therapy is knowing where to begin. It is great that the couple has decided that marriage counseling is something they want to participate in, but knowing where they stand with each other is important as well. Here are some marriage counseling questions that Savra (2019) has developed that you may want to consider asking the couple:

1. What are the issues?
2. How much effort do you think you are putting in?
3. Are you going through a difficult time?
4. How are you feeling about the current connection you have?
5. Do you have any concerns about the other?
6. Do you feel intimacy towards your spouse?
7. Do you trust your spouse’s actions?
8. Have you made any mistakes?
9. Are you satisfied with the relationship?
10. Is there romantic interest elsewhere?
11. Do you think counseling is unnecessary?
12. Have you considered being with someone else?
13. What are your expectations of the relationship?
14. Are there past events you consider need addressing?
15. Do you feel that it is difficult to communicate?
16. Do you feel loved in this relationship?
17. What are some other options?
18. Is divorce the final option?
19. Are you willing to change for each other’s happiness?
20. Will you be open, honest, and yourself during these sessions?

These questions will gain a deeper insight into the current dynamic of the relationship and what potential goals could be created.

How Can Carepatron Help With Marriage Counseling-Related Work?

Carepatron is a great software for counselors! Our database houses an extensive range of readily available marriage counseling worksheets for therapists to use as they see fit. 

Counseling Marriage App

Carepatron can be adapted to be a marriage counseling app so you can manage appointments, access important client information, and debrief with any notes you may make during each session. 

Counseling Practice Management Software

Carepatron can take care of the tedious admin tasks that all practitioners face. As a counseling practice management software, Carepatron excels in helping counselors organize their schedules, maintain client records, and manage payments. This allows more time for you to focus on providing the best therapy service for your clients. 

Marriage Counseling Software

Carepatron features a dedicated set of worksheets and tools that are designed specifically to tackle the challenges of marriage counseling. Worksheets are developed to support counselors and enhance the relationship of the couple. 

Counseling Software

Carepatron is not limited to only marriage counseling services. As a versatile counseling software, Carepatron values the time you spend with your clients and is adaptable to the various counseling practices. We also house specific tools needed for standard everyday therapy sessions.